Early in 1998, if you had asked me to describe
myself, nudist would not have occurred to me. Eight months ago I still
would have been hesitant to call myself a nudist-in-process. Now, here I
am, "naked-in-front-of-the-computer" and writing about my new nudist
lifestyle for all the world. For me, the change was dramatic, profound,
and personally transforming.
Becoming a nudist involved a process of self-exploration and
reflection. It began as a solo endeavor, expanded to include my husband,
then a world of Internet friends, and at the last my children. Although
my first “real” social nude experience occurred only last spring, I
feel like nudism has been part of my life forever. I share my
experiences and look forward to being nude in social situations. All
this in less than a year?!
Yes and no. Yes, many of these changes have occurred in just a few
months. But no, because I realized that in my heart I have been a nudist
for at least 30 years. I have clear memories of being young, happy, and
nude, skinny dipping or playing in the sand.
When I was eleven with a friend named Jody we went out with our mothers,
my grandmother, and another woman. The four grown-ups disappeared after
telling Jody and me to wait in the car. It was a beautiful summer day,
warm and sunny. The woods beckoned us. Somehow we got out of our clothes
and out of the car. We fashioned some nature dance with elaborate steps
and lots of “bottom bumping.” We were so wrapped up in what we were
doing, we never noticed the return of the four grown-ups. We looked up
just in time to see four chins collectively fall to the ground and
horrified looks replace previously smiling faces.
We were told several times how bad we were. But when we pressed the
issue, they could never tell us what we had done wrong. Taking our
clothes off is wrong? No, we do that every night before our bath.
Dancing in the woods naked? That might not be socially acceptable, but
we were in a secluded location where no one saw us. Finally, they
settled on embarrassment. “You embarrassed me,” said my grandmother.
“That is what you did wrong.”
For years that lesson framed my activities. If taking my clothes off
would embarrass someone, then I should not do it. But I eagerly joined
in situations which would not be embarrassing.
Here’s an example. Years later, at a college fraternity party, there
must have been 30 of us who sneaked into the university pool one
midnight. No one had suits, no one cared. We swam, we lounged, we
talked. It was less sexually charged than the party at the frat house.
No one was sneaking off to the bedrooms upstairs.
For the record, when I met Tony, who became my husband, I fell in love
and never looked back–20 years now. He and I have always enjoyed being
nude together; but until recently, our nude activities were pretty
traditional. We slept nude, read, watched television, but rarely
ventured beyond the bedroom door. Our children often joined us in
television or reading, so they saw us nude. But doing something
non-traditional, like having a nude dinner, didn’t occur to us.
Fast forward to 1998. I had the opportunity to visit with a high school
friend whom I had not seen in 25 years. We had a terrific time laughing,
telling stories, and looking at yearbooks. But like the old song, his
happy mask hid an unhappy person. On the surface, he had everything he
wanted: nice home, good job, fabulous car, lots of friends. But one
thing he said stuck with me: “I am not happy with my body.”
Now, this guy had no reason for that. At 180 cm he is a trim 77 kg. He
plays tennis four times a week, is in terrific shape, and is much better
looking than he ever was in high school.
But I could not get his comment out of my mind. It prompted me to wonder
how I felt about my own body. I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I
did not hate myself. I turned to my source of all information, the
Internet, and began to read up on body acceptance. This quickly led to
nudism and naturism, so I began to read about them too. As I did, my
thoughts moved forwards and backwards. Forwards to “I would like to try
this” and backwards to “I have tried this, but a long time ago.”
In May I said to Tony, “I have a very strong urge to spend an extended
period of time nude with you.” He looked surprised but said OK. That
very night, after we put the kids to bed, we decided to play nude
backgammon. To be honest, we only managed to play about half a game
before the love hormones overcame us. Something about being nude, I
guess, led us to revert to a traditional activity!
But I was not ready to give up. That weekend, we arranged for the kids
to spend the night with some friends. Once they left the house, at
14:00, our plan was to take off our clothes and stay that way until the
kids returned at 10:00 the next day. Because we had a longer nude time
ahead of us, and even at our most passionate knew we could not make love
for 20 hours, we were able to pace ourselves. We did some laundry,
watched a movie, read, and chatted. We went out to dinner wearing very
loose clothes to keep the nude feeling. As soon as we got home, they
came off again. In the morning we cooked breakfast and read the Sunday
paper.
That weekend experiment was transforming. Suddenly clothes felt
confining and restricting. I wanted to be nude, and I wanted to talk
about it. Tony and I discussed our experience, but we felt like the
blind leading the blind. How did others feel? What were their
experiences?
I discovered an Internet mailing list and signed up. I lurked for a
week, then dived in with a question about sunscreen. A wonderful thing
happened: I was welcomed to the group like a special friend. Suddenly I
could ask all the questions I wanted and people would reply, honestly
and fully. I started corresponding off-list with a few people who shared
many of my thoughts and questions. My nudist world had expanded from my
bedroom to my house and suddenly to the world. I went from knowing no
nudists to knowing hundreds. It was terrific.
Meanwhile, Tony and I continued to explore our nude time together. We
have an outdoor hot tub and shower. Instead of running to get dressed
after emerging from either one, we would sit on the deck and let the air
dry us. (A fence and trees provide privacy.) We began to eat dinner
nude occasionally. I watched the entire NBA playoffs sans clothes and
not in the bedroom. I discovered NIFOC (naked in front of the computer).
In June we went to Denver. We made a deal that when we entered the hotel
room, the clothes came off. What to do on our one free afternoon was
very important to us. We decided to visit Mountain Air Ranch, a family
nudist resort. How important was nudism becoming to me? I passed up a
chance to visit the Figure Skating Hall of Fame!
Everything I had read was true: going to Mountain Air I was nervous at
first, but that quickly passed. No one cared what we looked like or who
we were, but everyone was friendly. Within minutes we felt relaxed and
comfortable. When one fellow talked about “us” as nudists, I realized
yes, I am in this group. I am a nudist.
I began to think of nudism as part of my life. I wanted opportunities to
be nude with others, and not just on a trip. But how to handle nudism
with my daughter, 7, and son, 10? My initial thought was not to involve
them. After Colorado, I realized that was not realistic. To be nude only
when they were in bed or at friends’ houses would not be practical. I
also recognized that many of our activities are family activities. It
would be a dramatic change to get a baby sitter every time we wanted to
go to the beach! Besides, isn’t nudism supposed to be a family
experience?
The solution came naturally. Shortly afterwards, we were all in the hot
tub together, my husband and I nude (which has always been our custom)
but the kids in suits. My son was fussing with a knot on the string of
his suit, so I suggested he just take it off. He did, and my daughter
soon did the same. My son immediately realized how good it felt in the
warm water without anything on. That led to a discussion of being nude
with others. Then we told them about our visit to Mountain Air. They
were both very interested and appropriately curious. We showed them a
brochure, with pictures, and answered their questions. My son was very
interested in the concept of a club, wondering if there were any near
us. So we showed him the brochure for Cedar Waters Village in New
Hampshire, about an hour from where we are in Maine. Tony and I visited
the place ourselves to check it out, then returned about two weeks later
with our children. After that, my son told me that he was proud of
being a nudist. My daughter seems oblivious to the title but enjoys the
experience. I regularly get asked, “When can we go back to the
skinny-dipping place?”
So that’s how we went from a clothed family to nudists. We each choose
when and where we want to be nude. I often have dinner nude while my
husband wears a T-shirt or is even fully clothed. My daughter, a
natural, is frequently nude around the house, while my son is usually
nude just in the hot tub.
I am still surprised by how far and how quickly I have come. At first I
was intrigued with the idea of a nude cruise or vacation–a once-a-year
special event. After going to Mountain Air, I realized that a little
more often to be nude would be nice, but it was still in the category of
recreation. Now I understand I have a need to be nude. At times it is a
physical need, at times it is a stress reliever. Nudity with others is
lots of fun, but nudity at home with the family is also very important
to me.
The process of becoming a nudist is not complete. There will be more I
learn and incorporate into my life. I look forward to visiting different
clubs and resorts and meeting other nudists. But one thing is clear:
nudism is very much a part of my life. A friend recently commented about
my status as a novice nudist and I gently corrected him: “Not a novice,
just a nudist. Once you’re there, you know it, deep inside the fibre of
your unclothed body.”
Sport and Recreation